It’s incredible how life feels when hard work finally pays off, and all the pieces fall into place.

About six weeks ago, I arrived at Christchurch Icelandic Horse Treks, where I’ll be working until the end of May. And because of that, it’s also the place I’ll call home for a while. This kind of job is the one thing I do every day with immense gratitude—working early mornings, feeding the horses as the sun rises, or bringing them in after dinner while driving the quad through the fields. Being fully involved at the farm, riding horses, and creating new memories and experiences is what lights me up every day.

While I’m so aware of how beautiful life feels right now, I also know that I have to do the work to keep it this way. Because maintaining a positive environment is built on small, intentional choices—things within my control. I feel people often forget how much impact our surroundings have on us; we’re not even aware of it. Psychologists refer to this as environmental affordance, which basically means that the space you live and work in influences your emotions and behaviors. Studies have shown that a chaotic or messy environment increases stress and anxiety, while an organized space makes you feel more in control.

Lately, I’ve been focusing on practices like that. How? Through simple basics: eating and cooking healthy meals to stimulate my brain, creating a peaceful and comfortable home by keeping things tidy to prevent sensory overload, and listening to multiple podcasts a week from my favorite motivational speaker, Mel Robbins—because your thoughts shape the person you become.

It sounds simple, yet we often forget these basics. The classic excuses: no time to cook healthy, too tired to clean. We’ve all been guilty of saying them.

By creating routines like these, I feel more disciplined and grounded. My mind feels clearer, allowing me to reflect on my life and emotions, which naturally leads to personal growth. I truly feel myself evolving every day.

And this routine isn’t just about comfort. For a long time, I wished I could be happy with a simple, comfortable life. But the reality is: I want to be extraordinary.

The harsh truth is: Growth only happens in discomfort. The structure I’m creating isn’t about avoiding challenges—it’s about giving myself the best possible mental foundation to keep pushing forward.

Take last week, for example. After two bad nights, grief consuming my mind, and other factors weighing on me, I just wasn’t myself. The night before, I had hyperventilated, and my entire energy at work screamed, leave me alone. My boss noticed in the morning, but when she asked how I was, I brushed it off—customers were around, and she was about to lead a trek.

During my break, I found myself crying in the bathroom. A mother figure had died in a TV show I was watching, and suddenly, everything I had been trying to hold together cracked open.

That afternoon, during our team meeting, I spoke up. For the first time, I put my personal needs on the table and asked for an extra day off. Technically, I was entitled to it—I had been scheduled six days instead of five that week. But younger me would have prioritized the money, worried about what others thought of me needing rest.

Instead, I explained what was going on and how I felt. I sat there crying in front of my boss, and we decided I’d have the next day off. We also adjusted the plan for the afternoon—I’d muck out instead of guiding the trek and still do the feeding. My coworker kindly offered to take over, but I responded with a little bit of humor, “I can still feed the horses while crying at the same time.”

The best part? My boss and coworkers saw me in tears, and even though they were understanding, I didn’t overthink it afterward. Younger me would have. I would have felt weak and embarrassed. But now? If crying is what I need to release, then so be it. And if someone thinks that makes me vulnerable—let them. I can’t control how people see me.

When I was 19, I was nowhere near the person I am today. Back then, I worked on a farm in Sweden that, for me personally, was the wrong environment. I was so unsteady, and that place made me so insecure that I constantly searched for approval. I bent over backward to please people, hoping they would recognize my efforts. But no matter what I did, I still felt unseen.

Now I realize I tried to please people so they would like me. Because in my childhood, it was normalized to always adapt, to make things easy for others. And at times, I felt like I had to earn love.

At this farm, it consumed me. Every day, I overthought every little thing, drowning in negative thoughts. It was the most exhausting and draining experience of my life, and I didn’t even realize how much it had affected me until long after I left.

These days, I actually think back a lot about that time. And strangely, I feel thankful for it in some ways. Because honestly, that version of me really didn’t see the point. And to be here now, after feeling so low in life… I would say that’s my biggest accomplishment. My emotions back then felt like a heavy stone on my chest—while I know I’m a different person now, I also know those feelings were real. The past few years, life has never felt like that again. And I’m grateful for that.

The reality is that the biggest factor in your mental health is the environment you surround yourself with.

Science backs this up—strong social connections don’t just make life more enjoyable, they actually help you live longer. Studies show that lacking social connection can increase the risk of early death as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. On the flip side, good friendships can lower stress, boost your immune system, and even help you sleep better. It’s wild to think about, but I’ve lived through it myself.

While traveling, I constantly enter new environments, and the people around me form the foundation of how I feel. My friends are so valuable to me—I genuinely love being around people who inspire me and want to become the best versions of themselves. I think true friendship is all about pushing each other forward.

The real challenge is staying authentic to yourself. As a child, I was taught to change myself to suit the evironment. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through traveling, it’s that I refuse to ever dim my light again for other people.

I no longer compare myself to others because I am genuinely impressed by the person I’m becoming, and that feeling is incredibly rewarding.

And the most beautiful thing I’ve learned? The energy you put out into the world is the energy you attract.

Let me give you an example of how this plays out in my daily life.

As a horse guide, part of my job is taking people on treks, and these rides lead to some of the most unexpected, mind-blowing conversations. One moment, we’re joking about avoiding Australia because of the spiders; the next, we’re discussing the connections between autism and eating disorders. I swear, I’ve learned more from these conversations than I ever did in school.

People from all over the world come here, and they have no idea how much these rides impact me. Sometimes, I meet someone whose interests align so deeply with mine that we stay in touch, meet up, and form real connections.

And while my coworker joked to my boss yesterday about how I always make friends during tours, I honestly think it’s one of my personality traits that I’m happiest about.

Imagine how soul-nourishing it feels to spend your daily life fulfilling your passion—while also surrounding yourself with such interesting people.

New Zealand isn’t my first country, and it definitely won’t be my last. It’s just one of many chapters.

Everything in life is temporary. But one day, I will settle down, and when I do, I want to start my own stable.

Maybe my dream will work out. Maybe it won’t. But I will do everything in my power to make it happen.

Because if this dream were easy, it would just be another item on my to-do list. And it’s not.

Dr. Susan David once said something in Mel Robbins’ podcast that completely altered my perspective:

“Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is holding that fear and moving toward what is important.”

I am so grateful to be 21 and already have a vision for my life. The road ahead won’t always be easy—there will be discomfort, challenges, and setbacks. But knowing that all of it will contribute to something greater? That’s what keeps me moving forward.

Thanks for reading this till the end, I hope that sharing my experiences and advices make you feel inspired to improve your own evironment <3

Lots of love,
Cecile